Even if I was still a Christian I would recognize this fact: Christianity today has become an ugly dark thing. In case you got lost in extraneous trash that a looney named Paul pulled out of thin air, let me give you the boiled down essence of what your beloved Jesus is reported to have said:

  Look for the light within you.

  When you look for it, you will find it.

  Share that light with the world.

  Commit fully, now.

  Heaven is right here, right now, but it is subtle and most people don't notice it.

  Share how to find it.

  Deal with your own shortcomings, rather than worrying about other people's flaws.

  Don’t worry about your comfort, your clothes, or what you have to eat.

  Don't be greedy.

  Remain humble.

  Your actions, not your words or rituals, show you for what you are.

  Act on your knowledge.

  Speak; teach others.

  Be merciful.

  Take care of people.

  Be generous.

  Love everybody, not just family and friends, whom it is easy to love.

  Love your enemies too.

  Forgive those who harm you.

  Avoid rules -- don't make them for other people and beware those who seek to force theirs on you.

  Beware religious authorities who take the keys but won't enter and don't let you enter.

  Be wise and gentle.

That is a beautiful combination of things. Create that.

Year of the dog.

Sleep.

I took these photos once.

And is it really so strange? I say no.

"I need these mallets because I'm emulating the sound of a heartbeat on my floor tom. It's for a vampire musical I wrote.", I said to the fella at the drum shop.

It echoed in my mind. 

What am I doing?

I suppose when you're growing up you internalize a message from your family or society or whatever that goes something like, "go make something of yourself." For some people it's more specific, but something along these lines seems about right. Another spin on it might be, "Welp...alright. You exist. Congratulations. Now go find something interesting to do until you die." That's how I heard it anyway.

And...that's what I've been doing.

Find something interesting to do. Of course.

You'll Have to Excuse Me

I have a meeting with my destiny.

William Goode (Spoon River Anthology)

To all in the village I seemed, no doubt,
To go this way and that way, aimlessly,
But here by the river you can see at twilight
The soft-winged bats fly zig-zag here and there--
They must fly so to catch their food.
And if you have ever lost your way at night,
In the deep wood near Miller's Ford,
And dodged this way and now that,
Wherever the light of the Milky way shone through,
Trying to find the path,
You should understand I sought the way
With earnest zeal, and all my wanderings
Were wanderings in the quest.