I have been working as a cocktail waiter at a gay bar in Nashville for the last month. It's a simple job which does not require a lot of my time and which pays decently well. I turned in my two week notice there a week ago. My first and biggest problem with the job is that it is retardedly smoky in there. I started waking with a sore throat the mornings after my shift, and I simply can't do that. I always want to live healthfully.
There were some other more subtle things going on there that I didn't like. I am a communicator. I LOVE communicating. It seems like the older I get the more a like it. I like learning by listening to people and investing into people's lives through interaction. This is really quite easy and happens all the time in places that I hang out and at places like my old workplace. (cafe coco) That sort of thing can't happen in loud bar. First of all, people aren't in the right frame of mind to listen. Secondly, they aren't willing to talk about anything that really has any bearing on their life. Aside from small talk about being drunk or sex, there's really not a lot that goes there.
In addition to all this, I think it really bothered my dad that I was working in a bar, a gay bar, to boot. Although I don't hold his views on homosexuality, alcohol, sex in general, and places where those items are somewhat combined, I think it's much to trivial a job to "vex his spirit" over. It's hard to live up to my dad's standards, and mostly I don't try, but this is something I'm happy to add him into the equation of.
I will be working, at least for the time being, at Cafe Coco again. I had mixed feelings about it before. A lot of friends had said, "Enoch, I think you should move on to bigger and better things.". For the most part, I agreed with them. However, I did also realize that as far as working a regular job in time periods where I'm not touring or getting payed to be Enoch-ing, Cafe Coco is a thing that works well for me and is a fulfulling avenue for certain parts of my personality. I feel like I'm bettering the world when I'm there, and I feel like I'm being bettered.
There was a moment when I thought it would be a good idea to throw my "pre-2006" life away completely and start over new. Take at least a break from Thornton, move to a new house, quit my old job, quit my new band, quit most people, and start building from the ground up. I've learned that over time, no matter how much shit I pick up along the way, there are good things taking place in my life. The best mode of operation for me is to get rid of the bad stuff one by one and to invest in the good stuff. This is hard. This takes balance. This requires the self-control to not live in extremes. It's hard to deliberately cut out bad. It's like breaking an addiction I suppose. These things are like water and will slip through your fingers.
I guess I feel like I've acted a little rash about some elements of my life and would like to get it back in order. I feel good about it. Even though I've had my moments of "what the fuck?!" over the course of the last couple months, I feel like I've learned some good things that will stick with me forever. I hope.
In other news, some things have been working out really great. The moment I quit PLAY, the cafe had shifts galore available for me, which is awesome. I've started writing a movie script, (WTF, eh?) which I am excited about putting together.
One of the neatest things that has happened recently was when the lovely magical fairly lady Bekah from birmingham responded to one of my blog postings by sending me a new camera! My camera broke earlier this year and I hadn't gotten the opportunity (financially or logistically) to buy a new one and she simply sent me one in the mail! I've been shooting on it for a the last couple days and will be getting prints back soon. Look for pictures making there way into these postings in the near future...probably in the next couple of days.
Ben has been gracing our house with AMAZING Thai iced tea, which I am drinking now. My friends Luke, Shon, and Thurston have been a great source of encouragement for me over the last week. I got to see Conrad today (he lives in indiana now.). Life is good. Sometimes I forget. Thanks to those who remind me.
I just read through this post and found a lot of poorly constructed sentences. Hmm...Ain't it a shame?
-Enoch of the Earth people.
