And now off to bed.

I still have not been in a town and mobile long enough to develope any of my photos. I can only offer fan photography which is floating about the net. Well, let's see...where did I leave off? I've been thinking a lot about the nature of my life. Of at least the nature of the life I've had post-living with my parents. It's been pretty interesting. I guess I've just had a general plan of playing music as seriously as possible, and that's what I've done. For the first time, I have a full time job playing music. I don't know how long it will last, but it's a lot of fun and I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

Currently, I'm in an akward scenario with a couple who is hosting us, lovedrug, a couple girls who were at the club and ended up at our hosts house, and a cat.

I must tell you about the show we played a few days ago at hope college in holland, MI. First off it was a sold out 1200 seat show, which is sweet in the first place, but in addition to the very supportive crowd, the venue was one of the most beautiful rooms I've ever been in, let alone played music in. I'm not sure how old it was, but it was very old. I basicly had a cathedral look going on, complete with the 200 foot high valted celings, wood and stone arches, a HUGE old pipe organ in the balcony and one recessed in the wall. Of course the room sounded amazing and a good time was had by all. It that mysterious day in the future when I get my film developed you'll love it.

Following Day:
Today is a day off for us, got the message last night that we weren't on the bill for tonights show with mae. I'm not really sure how that happened, but I'm fine with it and will soon take the opportunity the catch up on sleep.
Today's thoughts focus on a fullfilling life. I've asked myself several times what I consider that to be. It changes from time to time. Generally though, I think that simply having people around you that you love is very important. As a close second I would say that doing things you enjoy is very important. I'm not as good at keeping myself close to the people I love as I would like. I take them for granted and then when I'm not near them stop and think, "wow, I really wish I was around my peeps right now." So some of the most heartfelt experiences I ever have with some of the people I really care about is a short call that says, "Hey, I like you. I wish we were together right now." That's unfortunate... I could change my life today, but it would require other sacrifices that I'm to foolish to go through with. I probably put to much value on new and interesting experiences and not enough on relationships.

Good lord, HOW CAN A FELLA LIVE IN THE EARTH?

I'm not even gonna look back at what I wrote. This is total stream of consciousness.

Life. It really is freaking crazy. You don't really know where you'll be or what you'll be doing from one moment to the next. In addition, you probably don't know what is right and what it wrong. Also, you don't know if what you've figured out about life actually applies to anyone but yourself. You can also know only very little about things which you have not experienced first-hand. Their are many experiences you will not have. There are many I will not have. There are several "important" people you will not meet. There are small instants that will change the course of your life in major ways forever. There are huge events that will seem to have no effect on you at all. It's really quite strange. I have been searching for meaning in all of it for most of my life. Why do I need a why? It's because I was built to figure out "Why" things are. So were you. Now, I use the term "built" very broadly. I probably mean evolve. You are here because instead of developing a keen sense of hearing or smell, or growing huge claws or teeth, you evolved in the intelectual department. You are biologically inclined to figuring out how things work. Looking for what makes things tick. The trouble that may exist is that those methods may only apply to very simple things. It could be that there is no answer or binding thread to life. Do you hate that idea? Of course you do. Every strand of DNA in you screams out for an answer.

This scenario again.

As I write I'm riding in the van on what will be a 32 hour drive. After our show in Utah we got wind of a bad snow storm in the mountains on the way to colorado (our next show). Apparently cops are pulling over people who don't have chains on their tires in that region. So, in addition to Mae cancelling the show in Boulder, we all also had to find an alternate route to the next show which is in Nebraska. Basicly what had to happen was a detour back through LA to I-40 which is what leads to the insane trek we're making through the southern united states. Pleasant enough driving, there's just a lot of it. My last driving shift was this morning bewteen the hours of 5 and 10 am. I slept all day in the van which was nice 'cause I was a bit behind on sleep.

As far as the last few shows have been, the Las Vegas show was our best performance yet and was super fun. We didn't play as tightly last night (or at least I didn't) but people there absoloutely loved the show anyway.

Right now I'm riding shotgun while watching a DVD on my computer. It's Ben Folds Five, The Complete Sessions at West 54th. Ben Folds Five was another integral artist in my teenage years. The first big show I ever went to was Ben Folds Five and the Foo Fighters. A Damn fine show for any 14 year-old to see. Really stellar good music. I remember the first time I heard them. I was raking leaves at an old womans house in my home town. I must have been 13 or so. The song Brick came on the radio and I remember loving it instantly. If you haven't heard the whole record that the song is off of, you need to buy it right now. It's called Whatever and Ever Amen. Probably one of the best albums to come out in the 90's.

WOO!!!

I promise as soon as I can find an opportunity to develope my film I'll post the pictures here. It's just a tricky life I'm living at the moment.
Last night was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. We played for 3000 people who loved us. Lemme tell ya, That's really a great feeling. After a couple shows just getting our act together in small clubs, it felt really nice to nail it for a huge crowd. Today was no less fun. We went to long beach and I got to step in the ocean. We rented bikes and rode along the beach while the sun set. California is magical and I love it. After that we went to dinner with a friend of Michael and Dave's and then saw a movie. I feel very fortunate to be having these experiences. They are priceless. I'm very tired and we have to get up at 7:30.

P.S.
This blog will most likely be posted a day late.

Actually written a couple days ago...

Last nights show...Eh...could have been better. We played pretty loosely and it was all pretty akward. Peoples came out though and seemed to love it, so that was cool.
Today was a beautiful day. I drove for a good 7 hours. It's all been Colorado and Wyoming. I have never seen such beautiful scenery in my life. Mountains and hills that seem to go on forever. It was really something magical. We listened to The Wall and Dark Side of the Moon back to back and I was moved to tears. I like things.

Later...

Nothing brings back feelings from another time like U2's album Unforgetable Fire. I just found it on Dave's ipod. I'm listening to it as I write. I have to say, It's almost hard to listen to. I have VERY strong memories connected to this album. Kevin gave it to me when I first moved to Nashville nearly 4 years ago. I listened to it and nothing else the whole summer of 2002. That summer was my first experience outside of my parents home. My first self-sought home. My first self-sought friends. My first experience completely outside of any structure I had ever known. These were huge experiences for me. I wouldn't realize how big until they were over. That's always the way.
All summer I was working at Cafe Coco as a busser. I would get off work at 4 AM and go to bed. I would wake up at 11 from the heat. You see, I had no air conditioner and that summer was exceptionally hot. I remember I would simply walk out to my van and drive to my friend peter's pool. It was across town and still is, but is my favorite pool to swim at. I remember showing up at peter's several times a week at about noonish and waking him up to go swimming with me. We'd have great long conversations about God, life, girls, and whatever else happened to pop into our heads. I was also playing rocknroll with kevin and luke at that time in the band Holy Holy. We were pretty much convinced that we were merely months away from making a living as a band. I know a lot of things in my head at that time were wrong, or at least unfounded, but I don't care.
The experiences I had in my head were so powerful and left such a distinct impression, I will never forget that time. In retrospect it was one of my favorite phases in this crazy world. But then, I suppose every time has it's own feelings and they are all so interesting it would be crazy to say that they aren't all equally as special in some way.
Here I am three and a half years later. I've fallen in love, fallen out of love, back in, and floated somewhere in between. I've lost friends. I made new friends. I've seen a whole social structure crumble and new ones emerge. I've gone on tour with bands. I've experienced band break ups. I've experienced a broken heart. I've cried for sadness, joy, and sheer beauty. I've seen the place I called home for 3 years torn to the ground. I've spent time with people who love me and I've neglected them. I've learned a lot about humans, and a small portion of what there is to learn about myself. I've used people and been used. I've invested in peoples lives and they have in turn invested in mine.
I can't say that the experiences of the last 4 years have added up to some devine message, or that I could even really share a shred of wisdom I've earned, but I can say that everything that has happened is very special to me and I cherrish all of it.
Currently, I'm riding in a van somewhere in Utah or something with 3 fellas I met a few weeks ago. That's what I'm doing with this month of my life. Today We drove straight west and I saw mountains for the first time in my life while crying tothe music of pink floyd. How could I possibly think that this time won't hold an equally special spot in my memories and my heart? It will. It will simply require the time it takes to turn an experience into a legend in the mind of a human.
Thanks for all this.

Sigh...words don't equal what I'm feeling. They just point in the general direction of the thing that can't be put into words.

Drive! Drive! Drive!

The show last night went relatively well. Some kinks here and there to iron out. James and I didn't play perfectly, but it was decent for a first show. I did have a lot of fun, as did the rest of the fellas I think. The house sound guy was kind of an idiot, which made sound check a little nerve-racking, but once our set was underway I think the only person the sound issues bothered was michael. There was a decent turnout for a low-profile college show and the folks really seemed to enjoy it.
Got a good bit of sleep last night at the best western hotel in greenville, IL. I did however wake up with a peice of gum in my armpit. I'm really not sure how that happened, but it was a bit bizzare. Today has just been a big driving day. We're headed to denver right now. I think we've been on the road about 9 or 10 hours today. I think we're going to stop at about 1:00 and resume tomorrow about 10-ish. Nothing super interesting to report here. I'm out.

Yes, we're in the van...

I'm having a great time here. The fellas are super nice and the music is fun. After arriving wednesday we spent 5 days drilling the crap out of 11 songs that we're playing on this tour. I slept in the basement of Lovedrugs business managers house. Today started at 7:00 AM as I prepared for our departure at 8. We're playing a couple shows on our way out to California where the tour officially starts. We're meeting up with a band called Mae and will be main support for them. First stop is in Greenville, Illinois at greenville College. I suppose by the time I've posted this we will have already played. At this point I have no idea what to expect.
I do know that tomorrow we'll be driving 900 miles to Denver Colorado, and two days later we'll be driving 1300 miles to Chico, California. THat should be interesting. Also expensive we just did the math and figured it's gonna cost about $800 in gas to get to that side of the country. Hooray for petrolium!
Currently we're in the van Rocking out to Smashing Pumpkins Mellon COllie and the Infinite Sadness Disk 2. Bodies. Oh yes... We have limited music options in the van. The fellas all brought there ipods, but there's no way to hook them into the stereo. We thought there would be hope and pulled the stereo out of the dash looking for an auxilary input. We must have seemed suspect in the parking lot of wal-mart in Dayton, OH. I'm burning Discs off of my computer as I write. Sigur Ros, The Smashing Pumpkins...that's all I've done so far.
I will never tire of the midwestern sky. It's Huge. The earth is so flat here. There's not a cloud in the sky right now as we head west. A little snow, but not a lot. Things here look strikingly....

...And that's where I stopped writing.

Some new thoughts, Some old Photos

It's a snowy day here in ohio. I haven't ventured outside to espy the extend of white powdery fun, but I know it's happening.
Here are some really grainy pictures. 800 Film + Sams club developing = crappy looking photos. Haven't developed any post-nashville pics yet...






















I've put a lot of thought into the work that kevin and I have done in Thornton over the last 4 years. We've done a lot for two people. I think we bit off a little more than we could chew at some points. Hanging around lovedrug this week I've seen how much better things can work when you've got people working out the technical kinks for a band. Booking our own full month-long tours and taking care of every little publicity aspect of thornton for so long and so thoroughly was to much for 2 people trying to make art. Now, I'm all about working hard, but the left side of the brain and the right side don't function at %100 at the same time. It WILL burn people out.

The Drugs I'm on

Well, I made it here to ohio. Canton? No, some smaller city outside of it, I think. I'm really not sure where I am. After waking up at 5:30 this morning this day seems somewhat surreal. Not unpleasant aside from the sinus thing I'm battling. A few decongestants and I feel almost normal. Ordinarily, I veer away from drugs but after the airplane landed I felt like my head would explode. I don't think a sinus thing has every caused me so much pain. Anyway, it's all in the past now.
Practiced with the fellas for four hours this afternoon and got to spend some time around them. Really great guys. Good situation for me. I'm really excited about this tour. The schedule is posted at LovedrugMusic.com. Take a look and come see me. I feel good about this. That's all. Stay tuned for photos.

Love
Enoch